Dear Spammers - f*** off

Today was one of those days.  I seem to keep adding things to my list of things to do without crossing more things off that list.   Anyway I was already annoyed when I quickly went to check the emails this morning before doing he school drop off and I found yet another email from someone called 'FedEx Express Services'.  This is about my fifth one. And it pissed me off clogging up my email in box. This is what it said:

FedEx notice,

The delivery service couldn’t deliver your package.
The package weight exceeds the allowable free-delivery limit.

You have to receive your packagen personally.
Print out the "Invoice Copy" attached and collect the package at our office.

Please read carefully the attached information before receiving your package.

Thank you. FedEx Logistics Services.

Now I do a lot of on line shopping.  So much in fact that I am on first name terms with the Australia Post Delivery guy, and so much that I think one particular on line store should be renamed Meggsie's of Kensington instead on Peter's of Kensington.  Or they should at least give me a share of their profits. Sometimes I buy so much stuff on line (all absolutley needed apart from the 26 new placemats I seem to have  bought after Christmas, on sale), that I have to keep a record of it all so I don't forget anything.

So the first time I thought this email might be for real.  But hesitated before clicking on the attachment.  I was only waiting on two parcels - one from overseas but they emailed me directly with status updates on my purchases and delivery at regular intervals.

I waited and sure enough another came and then another.  Well this morning was the last straw.  This time I replied as follows:

Dear FedEx Express Services

Please remove me from your 'suckers who believe any bullshit' email distribution list.  I am not this stupid.  Now fuck off and leave me alone'

Hopefully that will do the trick. Can't wait for another email inviting me to send my details to apply for a job at a lumber business.  I am a very nice person but don't cross me.

AMFYOYO