The awkward moment when you proposition your daughter 's boyfriend

We are renovating a bathroom. 'two weeks' the builder said. We are now into week four. In a classic case of bad timing the building work started just as my darling daughter Elle started studying for her uni exams. And she is not good in the mornings at the best of times, so hammering and sanding at 6.45 was a recipe for disaster.

I was feeling sorry for her one morning in particular - and as I was going out for the morning after dropping Harry at school, I thought I would be generous and let her sleep in my room which is at the opposite end of the house away from the noise.

I carefully opened the door, crept over to the bed, in the pitch black bedroom (gotta love blackout curtains), reached my arm out to the shape under the doona. I gently shook her on the hip and said: 'come into my bed - you'll be able to sleep better in there. I've put the air conditioning on for you'. There was a slight movement and a grunt. Then another movement. As my eyes adjusted to the light i realised it was a second body.

I had just prodded my daughter's boyfriend and invited him into my bed.

Excellent. I asked her later if he realised what I had said. 'Yes' she said. 'It was a bit awkward'. Awkward? Understatement of the year

Men say the stupidest things part 2

The other day, on a weekend, I had done a load of washing. This is not unusual as I seem to do a load of washing every single day. Current Spouse came home from his bike ride, showered and took his sweaty Lycra clothes up to the laundry. He usually places them in the washing machine waiting for the washing fairy to do the next load of washing.

Current spouse - 'do you want me to hang out this load of washing?'

Now a number of responses went through my head as I contemplated taking a fork to his eyeballs. The easy option was to say 'no don't worry I'll do it'. What came out instead was this:

'no just leave it there. It will eventually smell so horrid that the neighbors will start to complain and then you can hang it out'

Current spouse complained i was being sarcastic. But really, do they think they get points just for asking a question like that?

Men say the stupidest things.

AMFYOYO