Thursday, December 4, 2014

Gender wars and cricket

My spouses's take on The Greens' Larissa Waters no gender in December campaign, via the cricket newsletter:

Dear All

Last Saturday, the boys observed 63 seconds of silence in memory of Phillip Hughes. I suspect the effects of what has transpired over the last week or so will be felt in the cricket world for a long time to come.

But the game must go on and so it did. Unfortunately, the Albany Creek Seahawks were not all recovering from a big Schoolies’ week and they managed to roll the Blues for 155 odd, well short of the target of 230. Good starts were had from Stoddy, Nick H and Matt T but it was not enough. The boys had some small satisfaction putting the Hawks back in and claiming 4 quick wickets for not much, before the game was ended.

I must tell you that, in my view, we should all make the most of the game of cricket as we know it, as I fear the thought police are circling, even as we speak. This week, chief Green in Queensland, Senator Larissa Waters, declared warfare on gender stereotyping when buying gifts for small children, declaring that it inevitably leads to inequality and domestic violence. It’s quite a big leap to say that giving a small boy a Tonka truck for Christmas sets him on an inevitable path of discrimination, violence and cruelty, but she made it effortlessly. Still, it’s good to know that while the world grapples with the small issues like Ebola, millions of desperate and displaced people and an uncontrollable terrorist force which threatens the very fabric of society, she is all over the big picture stuff.

From what I hear from Green headquarters (located down the bottom of the garden, just next to the fairies’ house), she plans to make it a crime, punishable by death, to willfully supply a girl child with anything coloured pink, doll related or slightly ‘girly’. Equally, you will be shot on sight if you deliberately supply a boy child with anything deemed by the Greens to be “blokey”, like toy cars, trucks, model airplanes or blue shirts. Or a cricket bat.

I fear she has cricket well and truly in her sights. It’s obvious. Why, the majority of players are boys for a start. Not only are the boys all male, they are armed to the teeth with bats and leather balls. You can see her obvious concern here. Give a boy a cricket bat as an 8 year old and by the time he’s 25, he’ll be rampaging around the town, salivating like a wild dog and belting up anyone he can see.

And when she finds out that the game is riddled with blatantly sexist terms, like “maiden”, “slips”, and “balls”, I fear she will not rest until the game is cleansed of the clear and present danger it poses to the health and welfare of our young folk. Funny, it turns out that the Whisperer is Australia’s most wanted man.

So, enjoy it while you can, I suggest.

Sadly, the season ends this Saturday. It is always so eagerly anticipated by the boys and, like a shooting star, it burns briefly and brightly. However, there is some good news as, for the first time in at least 4 years, the boys actually play on the hallowed turf at Yoku Road on oval 2. The opposition is Valley White. The Whisperer might know more about their form but, as he says, that’s not relevant. Of course, we all know it is.

See you Saturday.

Until then, remember, there are some things you can’t cover up with lipstick and powder, but I heard you mention my name, can’t you talk any louder?

Cheers

Peter
CEO Valley Blues


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