Why I have become the Christmas grinch

I used to love Christmas. I used to make my own cards, decorate the house, buy the advent calendars so the children could eat chocolate first thing in the morning. The carols. Mariah Carey blaring out at odd times with 'All I Want For Christmas'. It's a wonderful life on the DVD player (sniff). But each year it has become infinitesimally less bearable and believe it or not it is because I have fewer gifts to buy.

Every year I would start a fresh list in January because I am a very organised ( some say anally retentive) person. If I saw something I thought someone on the list would like I either wrote it down or bought it then and there. I have two siblings with spouses, six nieces and nephews on my side. Four of them now have live in partners. Three brothers in law and three sisters in law and eight young nieces and nephews on the other side ( yes THREE sisters in law people). Three children of my own, spouse, two cats and a dog who also get presents. Sadly my kids lost two grandparents this past year so down to one father and one mother in law. Oh and add in the teachers, the nanny /housekeeper, my husband's secretary, various friends, my hairdresser and physiotherapist and that is over 50 people to buy for each year. But I LOVED it. If I am lucky my current spouse will remember to buy a gift for me...but I have been known to buy that too.



A few years ago one of the aforementioned sisters in law decreed that NO MORE would we be buying lots of presents - rather we would, for the adults, put names in a hat and draw them out, creating a secret Santa style Christmas for THAT side of the family. I was outnumbered as all of the lazy members of the family thought this was a brilliant idea.

However after the initial email telling us who was buying for whom ( and let's be honest I still had to buy the gift my husband was suppose to buy), there was a follow up email. Telling us we had to inform our gift buyer what we wanted for Christmas. Jesus wept (and so did the three wise men).

Again, outnumbered and not wanting to create a scene, I dutifully told my sister in law that I would very much like a new avanti teapot thank you very much. Come Christmas day there was an envelope under the tree with my name on it with $80 inside and a note which read:

I'm sorry I couldn't find you the teapot you wanted

Crushed. I was crushed. Is this what Christmas had become? a surprise would have been better.

This went on for a few years and this year I have said in no uncertain terms that I no longer want a gift nor to participate in this cluster fuck. We may as well all go out and buy ourselves a present, wrap it, place it under the tree, and feign excitement or surprise. So I am donating my secret Santa money to charity and THAT feels good and is what christmas is all about for me this year.

So I say to them all AMFYOYO with the secret Santa bullshit

I want to marry Dave and have his babies

I have a new man in my life. His name is Dave. He is a taxi driver. I met Dave last night. Dave had dropped a friend at dinner and it being the festive season I had another party to go to after dinner. I asked Dave if he would be able to come back at a certain time to save me standing in a queue for an hour or waiting on hold at the cab company for the same amount of time. This was no problem for Dave. He took my number, texted me when he was 15 minutes away - very thoughtful, so I could finish my last drink - turned up at the appointed time and off we went

But that is not the best bit. HE SPOKE ENGLISH. HE KNEW WHERE TO GO WITHOUT A GPS. HE COULD CONDUCT A CONVERSATION.

And then he came back to my second party at a pre agreed time to take me and current spouse who was already there to our home. I have Dave's number. I will keep it forever. I am never letting him out of my life.